Slut skills are useful in every country.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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