careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
