guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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