I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
