omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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