Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
