Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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