Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
