just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
