Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
