I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Drunk is not a location!