Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?