Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.

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  (905): the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest. http://tfl.nu/4jgv
  Replies (30) Good night (1141) Bad night (4051) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now

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  (703): He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now http://tfl.nu/q7km
  Replies (8) Good night (552) Bad night (2433) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT

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  (832): DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT http://tfl.nu/3806
  Replies (17) Good night (4513) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now

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  (847): Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now http://tfl.nu/tfy2
  Replies (2) Good night (1864) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

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  (202): when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him http://tfl.nu/8eei
  Replies (7) Good night (2203) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.

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  (231): I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this. http://tfl.nu/nn25
  Replies (5) Good night (1625) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.

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  (570): I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/e3cl
  Replies (33) Good night (815) Bad night (4872) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.

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  (262): Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene. http://tfl.nu/6cb0
  Replies (1) Good night (1131) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.

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  (305): So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor. http://tfl.nu/ur1k
  Replies (6) Good night (2030) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.

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  (309): I almost lit my balls on fire tonight. http://tfl.nu/1whc
  Replies (10) Good night (454) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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  (435): I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ljj
  Replies (12) Good night (1839) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.

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  (515): My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker. http://tfl.nu/y9qd
  Replies (0) Good night (946) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  How does this kind of shit happen to you?!

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  (740): I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow. (1-740): How does this kind of shit happen to you?! http://tfl.nu/nrt5
  Replies (6) Good night (1367) Bad night (158)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me

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  (970): my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me http://tfl.nu/zptz
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm drunk at 3:28

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm jealous as shit at 3:34

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  (913): I'm drunk at 3:28 (816): I'm jealous as shit at 3:34 http://tfl.nu/umrv
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (115)

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