You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!