end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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