i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
