just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
