when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize