I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
