just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
