Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
