My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
