my vag is so smooth its legendary
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize