just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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