I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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