Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
BRING THE BAGELS
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
