sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
