I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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