I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
