She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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