brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
