Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
