How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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