There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
bring money and cleavage
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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