So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
