does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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