I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
