She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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