I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
