i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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