New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize