i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
