I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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