Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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