ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i came on her dog
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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