dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
