apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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