dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
