I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
