I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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