Already got asked if we're dating
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
