Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
