What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
