Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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