I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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