please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
